I have victim tendencies. You know what I mean? You know that feeling when you are pretty sure that things aren’t going your way and there is no way it’s your fault? It couldn’t be. The world is conspiring to defeat you.
I’ve learned a couple of things over the years to help combat that feeling and keep me focused. I’ll share them with you and hopefully they help you too!
#1 Keep your eyes Smiling. If you are focused on what you are missing out on, you’ll always notice what you are missing out on. If you focus on what you can control you’ll find new ways to control them. Realign your focus with your goals. Go home every night and write down 3 things that were awesome today or that you learned from. You’ll feel better almost instantly and after 3 weeks it’s a habit right? I occasionally vent, but typically when my wife asks how was your day I strive to find the good. I’m hopelessly optimistic and I love it. This is also a double meaning here because I also physically keep my eyes looking forward. When I was 6 years old I was an even bigger nerd than I am now, but I didn’t know what to do about it and I’d walk home by myself after school and would wonder why nobody would ever talk to me. I’d walk hunched over with my heavy backpack pointed towards the sky and I’d literally be walking home with my eyes on the ground. I used to count the cracks in the sidewalk and I’d try to either always hit them… or always skip them depending on the day. Anyway, I digress. One day I realized that nobody talks to me and that I was wallowing in my own little world because I looked like I didn’t want to be talked to and even then I couldn’t see anyone because I was constantly looking down. I decided that I’d change my posture and I’d look at other people. I began to walk with my head held high and started chewing gum because it forced me to smile. I had been a tooth grinder and so I always looked stern. Turns out I made few friends that week! I knew that body language not only impacted the way others saw me, but also how I felt. So keep your eyes up and looking at what your goals are. Don’t focus on the bad otherwise, you’ll be walking all by yourself for a very long time.
#2 Say YES or say NO but don’t say it SLOW. What if’s and maybes only count in sci-fi movies about alternate timelines. If it doesn’t matter in a year forget about it. People go out of their minds about stuff that is 100% out of their control. The sun is probably going to die out and in a Billion years they think the earth will first revert back to a molten core and then become a frozen rock… Or not. The point is people freak the heckle and jeckle out about it and there is literally ZERO impact that they will have on this timeline. Don’t feel bad for yourself. Life wouldn’t be different or better if did this, that or the other. Let go of everything you can’t control. It feels horrible inside and you can’t help it anyway. Don’t beat yourself up. You don’t make up the rules of life, you just live by them. Learn the rules and use them to your advantage. You are NOT A VICTIM. Life doesn’t happen TO you. Life happens and you are going along for the ride my friend. Harness that power, don’t fight it. I’m not telling you to have a case of the FRACK-Its (#bsg) I’m saying you are responsible for your own damn success. Success is your FAULT. Make a decision. Besides actual death… you’ll survive everything.
#3 Manufacture Opportunity. Luck has nothing to do with it… but you can be as lucky as you want to be. Some people call it Luck. I call it just putting the dots together. When I’m keeping my eyes up and not paying attention to the maybes I’m looking for the YES and the YES is what I’m focused on. Guess what? I find opportunity because I am paying attention and help create the scenario I am looking for. I nudge the possibilities along. I make suggestions, recommendations and look for coincidences that lead in the direction I want to go in.
Bonus TIP – This morning I wrote 4 words on the mirror. Snort, Fort, Earn, Learn. How do you start your day? I end my day with a motivational or helpful video/blog. How do you start and end your day? Your day is like one giant express train of time. The thing about trains is that the Engine has to be in front and the caboose has to be in the rear. All the other cars can be mixed up in any order, it doesn’t matter. Start and end your day with purpose and you will realize that it doesn’t matter what order all the other stuff is in. You’ll still get where you are going. 🙂
If you enjoy this article it means you don’t want to be a victim and you want to take control of your life! Start or end your day with some education to improve your career!